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Post by jungseunghoon16 on May 5, 2016 13:30:32 GMT
I've been thinking about secrets and those we share with others in particular. We all have good friends near us, we have our "allies" and our "enemies" throughout the list of what you call "friends". Choosing that list is rather simple, if you don't like that person, they become your "enemies" and those you like become your "friends". I see a big problem in this. The problem is, we only look at friendship in one perspective. We only look at what we actually want and not what the other person wants as well.
There are secrets that we share with people, and some of them we don't. You tell your "friends" about what you wanted to hide because you can't keep it in any longer. But think about this, what if that person who you call "friends" think of you as their "enemy" Then there is a problem, because they use that secret to get to you. I see a lot of this in our school and our lives, and we do need to make good friends, but how do you determine who are good friends and who are your worst enemies?
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Post by mohahaha on May 5, 2016 13:53:22 GMT
Having friends who think of you as their "enemy" rarely turn out to be enemies, since both of you share the same interests and feel both of you should feel secure. But what determines of who are good friends and who are your worst enemies depends on how you are treated. Good friends to be there for you in time of needs, trusting them and you they help you because they genuinely have the same feeling that they can empathize, while the worst enemies basically take advantage of who you are, such as sharing your secrets. I've had friends who betrayed me and they did that so they think they can corrupt me in school of me being a bad person because they are jealous so they can be better than me and take "my spot".
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Post by jin794 on May 8, 2016 6:23:26 GMT
We all have those who are or pretend to be good friends. Since we grew up in a different environment and have different convictions, it is definitely reasonable to have disagreements. Since we are seniors, we are taking a step forward to experience certain things we need in life. We will definitely meet some people we dislike or favor. However, we can not avoid this problem. If people care about every certain people they dislike, they will eventually be stressed and frustrated. They need to find a solution. For example, for me, I completely ignore and be indifferent to people I dislike because it is completely unnecessary to care about them. It is worthless. It is hard to determine who is good or bad. I think one way to determine if those are good or bad is if friends are on my side no matter where my position is, who I am, and what I do. Those good friends will always be on my side even I have nothing.
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Post by Tharu on May 8, 2016 7:09:03 GMT
I dont think we consider someone we don't like as an enemy of us. I think it is just someone who we just don't like and try to ignore. Also friends are someone who we can share our thoughts with, and most of the time, friends have same ideas and they share their ideas, which won't be conflicted with each other.
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Post by graceyichen on May 8, 2016 7:29:18 GMT
Great question! This is a hard! Discussing this question would mean that we still have faith in trusting people, we just don't know who to trust. I guess this makes sense since we are social animals. But perhaps we can just not trust people in general! Thats also a way! Not in an extreme sense, no. I recently saw a movie where the main character was like this. He wasn't antisocial in fact he was close and popular with a lot of people, he just knew how to separate his personal side from his public self very well. Friends and enemies are the same thing, they both know something about you, they just use it in different ways. So don't let people have that information easily, be aware of what vibe you give off to people, or what you say and joke about. I think separating different sides of yourself can help with this awareness.
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Post by mayurika98 on May 8, 2016 12:12:21 GMT
Trust and honesty are two things that people have started to get drawn away from. Personally there are only around ten people that I truly trust and can confide in. There are only around two people that I can be somewhat honest with. It is really hard to make these decisions of who to let in to your life because we are afraid of being betrayed or being hurt. The thought of losing a loved one or realizing the true nature of someone close to you can be hard for some people to handle.
This question also comes down to how you act in front of different people. Sometimes I don't like answering simple questions like "What did you have for breakfast?" because I just get the thought of 'Why do you need to know?'... I know, it's weird.
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Post by timmy on May 8, 2016 12:27:57 GMT
The way you identify your friends and your enemies isn't always easy to know. Some are good at disguising themselves. The knowledge comes through innate sense or experience. For the former, I always felt you need a bit of intelligence to begin with. The second one, on the other hand, comes through lots of socializing. You meet people, have some events going with them, good and bad. Through those things, you learn how to distinguish the people. You will meet new people who are similar to your old people concerning characteristic. That way, you can match what kind of person he/she is.
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sunnyp
Junior Member
Posts: 92 
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Post by sunnyp on May 8, 2016 17:13:29 GMT
That's hard. I don't have the energy to be friends with my worst enemy so I don't do that. Therefore I just uncoolume all my friends don't care enough to "pretend" like they are friends with me even though they think im their enemy. But if, I had a friend that was pretending to be my friend the whole time, I don't know how I would be able to tell that. I never uncoolumed there would be anyone like that so reading your post made me get scared of it. That kind of thing would shatter me in to pieces. I should be more prepared for this because it might happen in college or later life.
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Post by melody on May 8, 2016 17:33:53 GMT
It takes a long time when you get to know someone you didn't know. But during the period while you are figuring out, you call that person, a "friend". I am aware that it's our responsibility to examine the person well, but if that person dislike you in their own mind, how are we suppose to know all of that? Having a good friend, a precious friend is not an easy thing to do. We all have plenty of friends on our SNS, but we don't count all of them as your BFFs. It's really hard for you when you realize that a friend becomes your enemy.
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Post by christopher on May 15, 2016 13:05:37 GMT
I really value in friendship. I think it is my first time to have so many friends since I came to KKFS. I know how it feels to be alone with no friends. I know how it feels to be betrayed, friends changing and turning their backs on me because I experienced them. I think my dynamic experience with friendship made me to care about everyone even though others might say why do I care. I'm pretty open to everyone so I honestly don't have secrets among my friends. I'm rather in the position to hear others. (Though I also openly share about my secrets and stuff). It is actually a good and hard question. I personally determine my good friends to be those who are honest and trust-worthy. And for worst enemies... I don't have enemies haha. I am cool with everyone. Yet, good or bad, I keep a note to myself that everyone has a 'story'. Each of those story leads to the person they are. This understanding made me to be chill with everyone.
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Post by toomuchchanmin on May 15, 2016 17:16:52 GMT
Humans are unreliable species, let's be honest. We like to lie constantly so that we look better above then who we really are. So I suppose you can never tell if a friend is really your friend. However I think a real friend is when you can be honest to them, and it seems like they are being real honest with you. Of course you can always do the joking around, but there should be moments of pep talks.
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Post by jonah21 on May 16, 2016 2:49:18 GMT
I think we can determine who we consider our friends or enemies through how much we trust them. However, it's not just by secrets. That's why I personally consider friends through other means and not just if I can trust them with my secrets. I would personally keep my secrets to myself because if I did share them, eventually they will be spread.
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Post by anniee on May 22, 2016 16:18:49 GMT
Figuring out your friends from your enemies is a lengthy process - you can't just determine the two categories in a single instant. I feel that true friends are those who are willing to stick by you in any circumstances. Friends stick up for you and are able to share their feelings with you, the good and the bad. They aren't afraid to expose their insecurities and fears. Meanwhile, those who attempt to find a friend in you only when they need you seem suspicious - it feels as though they are merely using you for personal gain. They would probably act distant and try to keep details about their lives from you. These are our possible worst enemies, the more cunning ones of the lot.
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toufiq
Junior Member
Posts: 86 
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Post by toufiq on May 26, 2016 2:53:49 GMT
I feel like being a fake friend can be even dangerous than having an enemy. Because you at least know your enemies but if you have fake friend you never know when will they back stab you. So you are more vulnerable to them because since they are acting as your friend they already know your secret. Also if your friend don't correct your mistakes and just goes with that's not a sign of a good friend either. Because a true friend will always want to help out their friends. So We should be really careful while choosing friends.
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